I just noticed that it had been almost a year between my last two posts. A lot can happen in twelve months, but where does it leave me? Did my needle move? Am I happier? Am I a better person? I would like to think I am, but I can’t be sure. My life is certainly a lot different than it was a year ago. It has been a year of chaos, and it feels like I am just beginning to move out of it into more of a position of control. That is where I thrive – when I feel like I have control over my life. My stress level rises when I go too long without checking in – checking in on family, checking in on work, checking in on reading and writing (not so much, ‘rithmetic, but I do miss being a math nerd as a kid). My brain likes to wander, so when life is chaotic, my mind takes off and leaves me behind to juggle all of the little pieces it drops. I don’t make time to go on outings with the kids, or reconnect with friends, or read, because I just don’t think to. When I have structure to my day, I can relax. I can add nice little treats here and there. Like Bob Ross’s happy little trees, I can grab drinks with a buddy, go to the farmers’ market with the kids, grab an hour to write some fiction. It is all right there for me because the current of my life is churning along. I guess over the past year, I have realized how important it is to me to have order in my life – to have routine. I can’t control what comes my way, but I can control what I do with it, and I know now that I need to make it fit into an order, whatever that means. It may mean that I have to find a new work schedule to leave room for family. It may mean making time for breakfast with friends instead of drinks after work. Instead of trying to juggle all of the pieces of my life, frantically chasing new balls as they are thrown into the mix, I need to think more like Tetris and find how they can all fit together, while leaving room for the next piece to appear. Wish me luck!
A Year in the Life